Parent-Teacher Relations

Parents and Teachers: partners in the education of children. But what do you do when your partner in this special relationship has a problem with something you are doing or not doing? What’s the most effective way to handle your partner’s complaints?

Like the grievance procedure, problems are best handled at the lowest level possible, that is, directly between parent and teacher. If a parent approaches you with a problem, verbally or in writing, my best advice to you is to be responsive. Call or write the parent back promptly and be willing to meet at a time convenient for both of you. Parents want to be taken seriously and want to be heard. Be an active listener, using your best skills, and in the overwhelming majority of cases, you will resolve the problem and you will have developed a strong ally. Your worst enemy is defensiveness. Listening, trying to understand, and responding, reacting, explaining will be most effective when you communicate in a clear, non-defensive manner. Remember that to every parent her/his child is special, unique. Responding positively, sharing your thoughts, ideas, and experiences without “pulling rank” as the professional educator and assuring parents that you are interested in what they have to say will go a long way to preventing a situation from mushrooming - the last thing we all want! Keep a log of the parent contacts you have and a few brief notes to record the nature of the conversation and what agreements or resolutions were reached. Note dates, times, names of those present at a meeting. You should also keep a copy of any correspondence from or to parents.

The best “parent complaint procedure” begins with the parent approaching the teacher directly. In an efficient and effective system, a principal who receives a complaint from a parent about a teacher will first urge the parent to speak directly with the teacher if that has not already occurred. Some parents may want to make “anonymous” complaints, stating a fear that their children will experience “retaliation” from the teacher. Principals need to explain to parents that anonymous complaints cannot be handled effectively, and teachers need to be receptive in order to reassure parents that such a fear is unfounded.

If parent and teacher have met and been unable to resolve a problem, then the principal hopefully will meet with each individually, and then together to act as a mediator. As the teacher, it is perfectly appropriate that you ask that your principal handle a complaint that has come to her/him in this manner. And it is important that at all times you convey your receptiveness to the parents concerns both to the principal and the parent.

Remember to keep a log and good notes of a meeting, and seek out WEA assistance if you feel you are really in the “hot seat.” Keep your antennae up and ask for help and/or advice early on. Remember your Weingarten Rights to representation if you believe a meeting with your supervisor could lead to discipline. Don’t forget : a little good will can go a very long way.